From where do you know her? For how long do you know her? When was your last contact with her?
Do you know the family too?
What kind of guy is she looking for?
Is she a growing kind of person? Give an example.
Describe her in a few words. (If they give an adjective, ask for an example)
If you would have to choose either one, is she more the refined, gentle type or more the outgoing, friendly type?
Is she involved in chessed on a regular basis? Any examples?
What are her long term plans? What are her career goals?
Did she work on making relationships with any teachers from high schoo! or seminary?
How attached is she to her cell phone?
Is she on social media? Which ones?
What's one middah that she excels in? What's she known for? (Ask for examples)
How does she dress, Tznius-wise? 4 inches, 2 inches, or just makes sure her skirts cover her knees?
Is she overweight or overly concerned with her weight?
What standard of living is she used to? What standard of living will she maintain after marriage?
Is she a planner or a spontaneous person?
How does she react when things don't go her way? How does she handle pressure? Have you ever seen her angry?
Did she face any challenges in her childhood? How did she deal with them?
What does she do in her free time?
Does she go to shul on Shabbos morning?
Does she drink/vape? Does she have any signs of addiction or obsessions?
Does she have any medical or emotional issues that I need to know about? If yes, how long ago? What was the treatment? How has she recovered?
Can I call back if I have any other questions?
To Family References:
How do you know the family and for how long?
Do the parents get along with each other? (You can ask this even if they are divorced)
What are the parent's relationship with their children?
Do they often have guests for Shabbos?
Are they active in the community and give an example?
Does she have neighborhood friends?
What is the relationship with the son/daughter-in-law(s)?
What do her parents do? What are their hashkafos and their cultural background?
Stories about the family that bring out any other points?
Are there any mental/emotional issues with the family?
Dor Yeshorim:
It's generally accepted to check Dor Yeshorim compatibility prior to the first date, or after 1 or 2 dates (before it gets serious).
Ask the shadchan to get the girl's 9 digit Dor Yeshorim number and her date of birth.
Either call Dor Yeshorim’s 24 hour hotline at 718-384-6060 or go to doryeshorim.org/check-compatibility/ and enter both side's information. They will give a call back with the results.
Additional Resource:
Binyan Shidduch Center has a list of research questions here.